Tommys Thoughts

Female Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep, one who’s handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks, one who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s gainfully employed, and when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back, and begs to do more. Oh, send me a man, who’ll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to “HOW BIG IS MY BEHIND?” I pray that this man will love me to no end, and never attempt to hit on my friends. And as I pray beside my bed, I look at the clown you sent to me instead. AMEN.

Male Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomanic with huge boobs who owns a liquor store. AMEN.