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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on June 1, 2006 8:14 AM.

The previous post in this blog was The Lost World.

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Tue 06.01.2004
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First Four - 05/29 High School1) 18 years ago2) Sucked3) Football4) Would have giving up for College twice!...

Sun 06.01.2003
UM - Week 17 Unconscious Mutterings Tattoo:: Small of Back Sunburn :: Lotion Jaguar:: Convertible Trousers:: Pants University :: Central Michigan Express:: Limited Suicide::...

Sat 06.01.2002
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$20 Please

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill flies out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her….”Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag…”

“Damn!” says the little old lady…..”I’d better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!”

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?”

“Oh, no”, says the little old lady. “You see, my backyard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there’s a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!”

“So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: ‘$20 or off it comes!’”

“Hey, not a bad idea!” laughs the cop. “OK, good luck! By the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well”, says the little old lady, “not all of them pay.”

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